I received confirmation the other day from Dr. Kline that I should start chemotherapy vs watching and waiting. Rituxan and Bendamustine for 6 rounds, at 3 months another CT Scan to see if the tumor is shrinking. I'm glad that radiation is not recommended at this time but I'm also terrified to start the chemo. Once again I did my research and here's what scares me so far:
"Chemotherapy is most effective at killing cells that are rapidly dividing. Unfortunately, chemotherapy does not know the difference between the cancerous cells and the normal cells. The "normal" cells will grow back and be healthy but in the meantime, side effects occur. The "normal" cells most commonly affected by chemotherapy are the blood cells, the cells in the mouth, stomach and bowel, and the hair follicles; resulting in low blood counts, mouth sores, nausea, diarrhea, and/or hair loss. Different drugs may affect different parts of the body."-
Great! On the brightside if this is what it takes to get me healthy again, bring it on as they say in cheerleading! And yes I am fully aware that there are drugs to help overcome the "side effects". However I did read that Rituxan does not cause hair loss. Thank God even though bald is beautiful and the thought of maybe being able to go red or blonde for a short time is rather intriguing! Anyway, hope to know more tomorrow when meet with my doctor to discuss when to start. I say let's wait til after Christmas because who knows when I will be back to being "me" again. =( Course it doesn't help that the fatigue and pains from the tumor have started. Is it selfish to wanna wait til after New Years?
On another note, we had a great Thanksgiving. I had about 22 family member's over for our annual gathering. I think everyone had a great time and we were stuffed. I stuck to my guns even though the sister in law was trying to get me out on Black Friday **waves fist at Juana** HAHA didn't work!! If I was going to venture out at 4 am it would have been to Target for that $33 stainless steel microwave but I said it wasn't worth it, there really wasn't anything getting out that early for this year. She found a new partner in crime (my daughter/her niece) so hoperfully that sufficed and my apologies for breaking tradish... Maybe next year sis if time, money and of course my health permits!!! But I must say it was so nice to sleep in and not to lift a finger all day Friday, course by 6 I was already sleeping, not sure if it was fatigue or pure laziness but Sunday the fatigued hit me about 2 PM even after a good night's rest. Made a note to the dr on that along with the occasionaly twinges of pains for the abdomen, it's gotta be the tumor. Hmmm....
The rest of the week has been flying. If I get any busier at work I will need a clone! I have enough work for about 3 of me's for the next 3 months- course the world couldn't handle another me let alone 3! Started working on the Christmas eve service and songs for church. I love me some Christmas music! It's the most wonderful time of the year! Then this weeeknd is Mya's last cheer competition, they made some great changes to their routine so I feel good about this weekend no doubt! It's bitter sweet for sure.
RANT: You all know me and how much I just love leftovers. I think just about anything taste better the second time around, especially Italian food. My family, not so much. So you can take a wild guess as to who's been eating all the leftovers! Yours truly! The line "you know, there are starvin' children in Africa" doesn't work on them. Well one can only eat so many and by Tuesday I had to toss out some things. **sigh** I hate wasting food!
Praise: Mya said during Awana's tonight that the leader asked if anyone had any prayer requests and she spoke up and said "for my mom, she has cancer" and then they prayed. Takes a lot for a 9 year old to not only say what's on their heart but to be outspoken like that especially when it comes to praying and praying for others. She melts my heart sometimes, God bless her!
Good night, sweet dreams my friends....
I don't think it's selfish at all to wait until after the holidays to start your chemo treatments! I would want to enjoy the holidays first, too. :) If there's any way we can help at any time, just let us know. Not that I don't do anything all day, but I do not work outside the home, so my days are a little more flexible.
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