Thank you....

This was an email I sent out but in case I missed anyone that I don't have email addresses for this is what I sent....

I just wanted to personally thank everyone for supporting me thus far in my journey!  Saturday's prayer service for me was beyond what I imagined so thank you to Juana, Ricky, "my Jeny and Jenny" and my Pastors for all your effort and for the idea!  God's presence was so evident. Thank you to Jessica, Liz, Jeremy, Jim and Brad for taking the time to practice and lead us in worship, it was beautiful!  Thank you to everyone who came out and for those that couldn't make it I know you have been praying me through this long journey so thank you from the bottom of my heart, I love you all! 

 

I wanted to share a testimony with you that I shared already with some of you already about God's awesomeness.  As you know I have pretty good health insurance but each round of chemo is quite pricey... anywhere from $15,000 to $20,000 each time.  I took the high deductable which I met very early on this year and after the deductable is met I am responsible for 10% which doesn't sound like much but when you are at the doctor's 4-5 times a month it adds up fast.  Ricky and I both work full time but like a lot of people we live check to check and there's not much room for savings.  I also have numerous accounts from Condell for the surgeries I've had and all the testing I've needed there and have been paying what I can as often as possible. 

 

I received a bill from my oncologist on Saturday just before heading over to the prayer service for $1,834.00.  This is just for January and February so billing is a little behind.  A love offering was collected during the service and I am STILL in awe at how much He provided.  There was $1,859.00 collected.  Now if someone is skeptical that God doesn't know our needs or provides that is total confirmation about how great our God is that we serve.  One day I hope to pay it forward.

 

My biggest fear right now is not the medical expenses.  God has come through so many times, I have countless stories of how many ways He has met our needs.  My concern is that I am going through this chemo and it's not working.  The tumor in my abdomen is more evident than ever and I am experiencing more pain on a daily basis where as before I didn't even know it was there.  I also seem to be experiencing more fatigue than before, even a week or two post treatment.  I also feel more sick this time around.  As some of you heard that if this doesn't work Plan B will be a stem cell transplant and from what I understand it's a long process.  I would be hospitalized for 2 weeks, needing heavy chemotherapy to bring my immune system down to a zero.  Finding a match shouldn't be too hard but you never know.  I am praying to not have to go to that route.

 

So my brothers and sisters if you would kindly be praying specifically for that as often as you can I'd appreciate it!  Again thank you for your support this far, the battle is not mine but God's so I am trusting in Him to win this for me! 

 

Love always,

Melissa

Wowsers... a month and half or so without an update... tisk tisk!

Sorry guys, life has gotten in the way and I haven't updated my blog.  Actually not too much to update healthwise I guess which is the main point of my blog.  I do round 5 this week, round 4 went well last month. I had more nausea and fatigue this time around but cannot complain about anything else, could be worse!  One more after this week, yeah!!!! 

I can't believe how fast March went by.  I'm still sitting here scratching my head wondering where it went.  AND I can't believe how fast this year is going.  You ever think back to when you were a child and how you couldn't wait to grow up?  Well if I could take those thoughts back I would!  I long for the days of not having a care in the world.  I miss the days where my biggest worry was choosing which color crayon I should use or crying over skinned knees.  Now I have to fret over what color paint to use on the walls and what texture.  I now cry over getting poked and prodded every 2-3 weeks by doctors and nurses w/ big needles.  I worry too much about everything and need to learn to let go and let God handle my fears, my worries, my anxieties.  I miss the carefree days of being a kid! 

I went to a womens conference this weekend at the Kalahari Resort in Wis Dells (yeah NO KIDS and NO MEN LOL).  One thing I always look forward to what God is going to show me that I didn't know or have been trying to ignore.  I enjoy singing along with all the other women and the fanstastic worship band, it's a small glimpse into what heaven will be like.  The speakers and the workshops are always awesome.  This year we had Chelsea Cameron speak and she decided to bring her hubby Kirk Cameron along, I think he stole the spotlight off her the first day!  The other speaker was awesome too, I don't remember seeing her but she was on BH 90210 for a while as well as Buffy the Vampire slayer (which I never watched).  I always come home with something to work on in my life and hope that I can stick with it.  =)

So my friends, sorry for this short update BUT I'm on my lunch break!  Maybe I will find time to blog more this week.  But I leave you with these thoughts and a challenging reminder...

I will not allow the enemy (the lil D word, the devil) to steal my joy and you shouldn't either.  No matter what hardships we go through in life, no matter what trials you come to face with just remember that this life is temporary and we need to live life to the fullest.  We as women tend to carry a lot of weight, a lot of burdens from our past and present and even for the future.  And sometimes we as women, especially moms and wives tend to think we have to be perfect for our kids and our husbands and when things don't go according to plan we get discouraged, frustrated, upset, sometimes to the point of being a raging fool!  Ya feel me?  Have you been there?  God didn't say that this life was going to be easy or that we wouldn't suffer from heartache, disappointment, etc. but we can still live happy meaningful lives regardless of our present circumstances.  There is a spiritual warfare out there and the enemy is on a mission.  He wants you to be miserable.  He doesn't like see us happy.  And if he can't get to you he will through your husband, your kids, anyone or anything you care about and pour your heart into.  He also likes to distract us with things so that we can't get done what we're suppose to get done.  So when you are plagued with that negative voice in your head it's the enemy putting those thoughts into you mind. You know what to say to those thoughts? "SHUT UP!  I will not allow you to steal my joy, be gone"  John 10:10 "The enemy comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the fullest".  That's my challenge to myself, will it be yours?

Thanks Jennifer Krebs and to Robia Lamorte for the reminder last weekend! 

Blessings,
Melissa

Wow it's been THAT